Memoirs
by viper676
Summary: One sided DR. Dairine thinks about her relationship with Roshaun. Mild language, once, I think. A little angsty.


Memoirs

Dairine Callahan sighed as she slung her backpack onto the kitchen table, plopping herself down in a chair, her chin on her hands, staring out the window at the warm autumn afternoon. Her gray eyes downcast, she switched her piercing gaze from the window to her dark blue Jansport on the table, crammed full of homework.

And Dairine hated homework, on the rare occasions she had it.

But ever since Nita had come back from Alaalu, those occasions had suddenly started becoming more and more common. Dairine was listless in class, oftentimes daydreaming or doodling in the margins of her papers, and her grades were beginning to slip, little by little.

Dairine heaved another long, wistful sigh. She felt like a chunk of something was missing from her life, from her mind, from her heart.

Roshaun.

Dairine's eyes flickered, half annoyed with herself for admitting the truth once more, half embarrassed. She missed him, missed his rare smiles, his pigheaded arrogance, irritating as it was… God, she missed him _so_ damn much…

She pushed a strand of auburn hair out of her eyes and got up.

Central Park for me, she thought as she grabbed a pen, intent on going for a long walk by herself to clear her mind.

As she scribbled a hasty note to her dad and Nita down on a Post-it pad, she wondered what Nita was doing at the moment.

Probably snuggling up to Kit, all nice and warm, she thought bitterly. _And here I am, short, ugly Dairine, no boyfriend, no life, no nothing._

With a disgusted snort, she stormed out the door, not even bothering to alter the transport spell for noise, instead disappearing with such a _bang_ that car alarms went off half a block away.

---------

Dairine kicked at the falling leaves as she trudged through Central Park, occasionally glancing up at the scenery she barely even took in.

Flicking her fiery hair out of her eyes again, she glanced off to the left, towards the lake, and froze.

In a pool of sunlight stood a tall, blond figure, staring back at her.

She stared. "Roshaun?" escaped her disbelieving lips.

The figure smiled at her, then turned away, back toward the lake.

Dairine was shattered.

That's not Roshaun… he would have said something…

But, in her heart, she thought differently.

Roshaun… what did I do?

---------

From then on, Roshaun was all she could see. His face was etched in the pattern of fallen leaves, on the jersey of a soccer player, in the bright blue sky above the oaks and the elms.

He was everywhere.

Dairine had never felt so overwhelmed in her life. Frustration at knowing she loved someone who was well out of reach, love for the alien prince, grief at knowing she was alone in this world… it all became too much for her.

She collapsed onto the nearest park bench, buried her face in her arms, and fought against the tears that threatened to squeeze out from between her eyelids.

---------

Dairine slid into the subway seat, her gray eyes rimmed with red from restrained crying, her normally impish face lined with weariness.

She was in the process of leaning back and drifting off when a very familiar chortle cut into her dreams.

Roshaun.

Her eyes flicked open, and she sat upright, tracing the noise.

Her face fell when she realized the chuckle had come from a young man reading a fairly thick paperback novel, and she made as if to turn back to sleep.

Despite herself, she spent the rest of the trip anxiously waiting for the man to laugh again.

---------

She had never before experienced the feeling of love. To her former self, love was a nuisance, something to scoff at Nita for, a hindrance in the smooth flow of education, of life.

And now, she winced at how wrong she had been.

True, love wasn't life. But it aroused new feelings in her; affection, playfulness, pure, unrivaled joy.

And, despite her better judgement, she liked love.

Her mind buzzing with thoughts, Dairine banged the screen door open, ignoring her sister's wild jump away from Kit, and trudged up the stairs to her room.

She flopped down on her bed, staring up at her blank white ceiling, contemplating her next words.

"Roshaun," she murmured to thin air, wiping her eyes.

"I love you."

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A/N: Yes, I know, not the best D/R fic in the world… but I wanted to get this out, and, so, I did. I might continue this, I might not… depends on what you think.

I'm starting work on the next chapter of _Napa Valley Weekend_, and I apologize for the giant gap in updates.

As for _Middle Earth Chaos_, it's in progress, going very slowly, unfortunately. I'm fighting to try and make time for writing between schoolwork and extracurricular activities, but… it's very rare as of current. Thanks for your patience.

Chased Down- On hiatus.

Fire and Rain- Debating whether to put on hiatus or not.

Campfires- On hiatus.

Vortex- Next chapter in the works, 20 done.

Turn, Turn, Turn- On hiatus.

__

Upcoming Works:

Just Friends- Nita/Kit. Will be out by 11/10.

Blue Screen of Death- A split writing between yayalulu and me. In progress, out soon enough. Summary is a surprise…

Okay, well, that's my life in a nutshell, thanks for reading, and, please, review. Thank you.


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